I was very happy with my performance from the day before
as we had our final delayed due to wind and the weed - and I knew these conditions would be challenging for me. I am an anaerobic paddler who can get out fast and then through technique maintain the speed for as long as possible, so a longer race is not as easy for my physiology - BUT this is my sport!
I went out hard and paddled very well and was overtaken in the last few strokes to finish 5th. Like most of the swimming we've all been watching it was very close and less than a second separated the first 5 boats.
So at this final point in the selection I had overtaken the girl on 5th points and also gained more points than the 2 other girls equal with me. Now I was alone in 5th ranking position and needed to have a great race to not allow any one to gain more points than me in this final race.
When we arrived at the course we found the only day with an early morning strong wind and unfortunately it ws a cross headwind that affects the lanes differently. This is just one challenge in our sport and unlike rowing, at this stage, they don't change the lanes according to the wind advantage. So the goal is to be the best you can be in any possible conditions.
Lucky for Jo Brigden Jones and I, who are both coached by Guy, we have always trained and worked on how to maximise our speeds in different conditions through individual technique and race plan changes so that's exactly what we needed today.
I felt great in the warm up and knew my body and mind were ready for my best effort in this final challenge. The gun went off and I had a great start to set myself up feeling open and connected every stroke. I worked the transition well and enjoyed running the boat with power every stroke. When I hit the half way mark I knew why I was paddling and what I had done everything for as I felt the water on each catch and loved the feeling of pushing myself through the accumulating lactate pain. With 100m to go I controlled my want to try harder (too hard) and channelled it into my legs to keep the boat speed through the line. With no signs of others approaching in my periphery I went for it and heard the beep as I crossed the line. I thought I had won, and with a quick look to the bank saw people congratulating Guy.
For the next 10 seconds I had the most amazing feeling until I saw him put up 2 fingers indicating I was second and I looked back across to the far side of the course. Jo had also had the race of her life and came through to win on the line. Knowing that would put her on equal points I went over to Guy to ask what happens now and he quickly confirmed that Jo was to get the spot as she won the race.
Obviously, at that time, my emotions were high and disappointment was number one on the list. The wonderful thing for me is that at times like this I always have the most amazing people in my world, and the first words I heard were "I'm so proud of you and everything you have done this whole year, I couldn't have been prouder if you had won the Olympic Gold Medal!!"
The following 48 hours have been filled with wonderful people continuing to remind me of the wonderful things I have in my life, what I have been able to achieve, and how bright the future is. I just want to make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate having so many wonderful people in my life and I really am soooo lucky to live in a society of caring, supportive people so we can all continue to dream big, go for it with all our hearts and skills and not be tormented by fear of failing.
Thank you for your support and love.
Shell
Now stay posted for my next challenge. Who knows what it will be but I'll definitely be wanting to give back to our society in some way and hopefully continue to challenge myself as well.